wings instead of strings...

so... i saw a man sleeping in a field by the freeway as i was on my way to the grocery store. and he looked tattered and it was a chilly day and his clothing didn't look very warm. and it always crosses my mind that everyone is someone's child, and that some people are also someone's parent, sister, brother, friend... 


and now... life seems more vivid, real, intense, connected. and i believe strongly in personal responsibility, yet i cannot assume to know anyone else's stories and journeys. and in these  vivid menopause moments, it's being easier for me to assume the best and give the benefit of the doubt. and in this season of my life, i've lost patience, in a good way. i'm finding myself less willing to argue about responsibility or wait for what "should" be.


so there's this guy... sleeping in a field. and i don't know who he is. but he's somebody in his own right. and he's somebody to somebody. and "somebody" should do something about this.  and i am somebody. at least as much as the next person.


so i added a few things to the grocery list. and the situation made me realize the lack of cards for this type of situation... no cards seem to say "i don't know who you are. i don't know your journey. but i know that you are important. and i wish you silver linings and rainbows tucked into your clouds. and i wish you paths to make your dreams come true."  so i also bought some blank cards and wrote that message myself this time, with other blank cards ready for future situations that might come up.


and after leaving the store i discovered that the freeway field had a fence that i'd need to climb over or walk around. and it was cold but the sun was out, and i could use the exercise anyway. so....around the fence and over the hill i dropped off a bag beside his blanket as he slept ~ a roasted chicken, tangerines, bottled water, with forks, paper plates, a cloth napkin, flowers, and a card.


i hope he's not vegan. but at least there are tangerines, right?


and this losing patience menopause thing...? things will never be as they "should" be, and somehow in a strange way, that might be an aspect of the universe unfolding as it should. 


and it feels empowering to feel urgency not to wait for what "should" be. as a someone, i'm going to make things be as they should be, as i can. carrying community in my heart. being my own non profit without grants. and also without strings.


wings instead of strings.